Do you know how to successfully feel your feelings?
|Posted on 23 April, 2016 at 19:05||comments (2)|
Have you ever noticed the many lengths you will go to avoid feeling your feelings? The list is extensive. Here are a few of them: Keeping so busy there is no time to think, overeating, watching T.V., over exercising, intellectualizing (human calculator), too much sex, overworking, denial, shopping, being strong, islolating yourself from others, (hiding), drinking too much alcohol, anger, taking pain killers, street drugs, over sleeping, and the list goes on.
These work for awhile, then something will come up that is unexpected. It is amazing how the subconscious will attract to you the exact thing that you are avoiding. What we resist persists. You never know how it will appear, through a movie, a friend or a situation totally unexpected.
I had this happen to me last week. The trigger was going to see "The Jungle Book" one of my favorite childhood movies. I was expecting it to be light and cheerful. Within five minutes of the movie, I realized it was very similar to my life right now. Now, no one else might relate to this movie the same way, we all come from our own perceptions, but to me, it was a wolf mom saying good bye to her son, Mowgli. She is worried because she is setting him free to the jungle out there. She was very sad and I could feel and see these feelings. My heart went out to this loving (wolf) mom and I thought " My son is moving next week after 24 years of living with me". I am sure some of you can relate.
I could feel the emotion come up, and proceeded to cry through the whole movie. It really felt good to just sit in the dark and release all the pent up feelings. This went on for the rest of the day. I apologized to anyone that noticed, wore sunglasses and let the tears fall. People I met said, "no problem, just let it out". Even though I intellectually know "its good to cry", I still apologized. Everywhere I went I shared with people what I was feeling. The response was amazing. People opened up and said " Would you like a hug?", or they would tell me something about themselves to share that they understood. We would laugh at the absurdity of "The Jungle Book" triggering me.
I recognzed again the positive outcome of acknowledging my feelings. When we allow ourselves to feel the feeling, are aware of it, let it come up, stay with it and let it run it's course without wanting it to be different we will have a feeling of decompression and relief. If we acknowledge without judgement that it is just a feeling and then let go of the energy behind it we will feel energized and more balanced. People will sense the change and feel more connected with us.
We all have feelings and we should let others love and validate us as much as we love and validate ourselves.
I now know that when we don't allow ourselves to receive these gifts from people we are doing a disservice to ourselves and to them.
Instead of shutting down and isolating I choose to open up and allow the gifts that are offered through the many wonderful people willing to give.
Let yourself receive as well. Hugs and love to everyone
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